They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
