Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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