new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
