dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She bit a glass in half.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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