whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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