We're like a lot better than the average bears
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
