jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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