my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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