In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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