So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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