What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
