I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
