My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
