i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
