Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
