I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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