dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
