guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
