I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
