I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
