I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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