Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
