Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
