worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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