I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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