Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
