party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
