they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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