did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
