I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
