I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
