AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
