I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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