And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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