i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
