Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
