Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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