if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
