she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
