this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
where are my eyebrows?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
