Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In America we eat man semen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
