Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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