They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
