She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
