She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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