so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
