you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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