so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
