hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
