my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
