i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
