your room smells of hookers.
And success
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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